CHRISTMAS..I REMEMBER ...

As dawn slowly opened the new day, like a shade being gently raised, I sat in my chair in an overly quiet room, both hands cupping my warm mug of coffee, while watching the barely visible falling snowflakes come down. It reminded me of memories. Last night there was an exchange of thoughts on Facebook that gave me an unsettled feeling about the Christmas season we celebrate now as compared to the 'then' in my life. Sensibly I know things have changed, but emotionally I want to hold on to old traditions. Therein lies the anxiety. The today theory of 'keeping it simple' makes sense in this activity driven society, but the age old practice of keeping tradition in Christmas tugs at my heart. Oh, we don't have to sparkle and shine, place do-dads throughout every visible surface, but neither should we plunk a pre-lit tree down and call it good! Instead of making it a chore, let's make it a time of reflection. If you are a young married couple, begin to make those traditions, begin to determine to transition into making memories through the years. If you are a middle aged couple living a stressful life full of responsibility toward family and employment, stop the madness for a moment and just enjoy the beauty of the season. Help your children to remember the reason for all the preparation. We buy the gifts for one another to commemorate the one true gift God gave us through His Son Jesus. We decorate the tree in remembrance of this, a special place to sit and contemplate the many blessings from above. Through the years my daughters and I have exchanged tree ornaments. A simple thing, but as I place each one on the tree an extraordinary thing happens....my heart remembers. I smile, I cry, ....I remember. It's not just a tree, it's a memory and I cherish each memory held close to my heart. Last night, unable to sleep, I crept out to the living room, plugged in the tree lights, wrapped up in a blanket and began a journey back in time to memories that bring warmth and happiness to my soul. Our early married life was a time of want, as most young marrieds will atest too. My mom gave me some of her old Christmas ornaments and a few odds and ends to set about our very small basement apartment. I kept those things for many many years even when we could afford to start making our own way. She wanted us to start making our own traditions and memories, just as I hoped mine would also. We did. The one tradition that went on for years was the annual trek to chop down our own Christmas tree. I would pack a lunch, pour hot cocoa into the huge thermos, make sure the cookie bag was full for snacks, dress the kids like eskimos and head up to the mountains outside of Spokane. Many times what we deemed to be the 'perfect' tree turned out to be a replica of a Charlie Brown tree when set up at home, but who cared! It was in the making of a memory that counted..the special togetherness, that marvelous taste of warm cocoa going down into a very cold body after tromping through the snow for what seemed like hours! The drive home always ended the same....a huddled mass of my children's bodies, crumpled together in exhausted sleep while Dennis and I silently sat with that peaceful feeling that all was right with the world at that exact moment. Those were good days, memory making days...traditions in the making. But those days end, yes, teen years arrive and the aloofness that comes with it! Nonetheless, Christmas becomes very much the responsibility of the mother. She sets the tone, she decorates, she bakes, she shops, she keeps joy in her heart rather than resentment for non participation of said teens! I,as many mothers went through that stage. But guess what! One day they begin to remember the memories, the warmth of the decorated house, the smell of baking, the specialness of Christmas...and then they wish to start their own memory making. I saw that in my own children and felt the pleasure of their joy. I still believe in Christmas, I still want them to embrace it, to take the time to slow down, remember, smile, cry and have the desire to pass it all down. I am alone now. It is I who bring the boxes down, who places the tree and finishes it. It is I who still pre-heats the oven to receive the homemade cookies and breads. It is I who still loves the traditions of Christmas, the memories, the reason, the whole Christmas package! But it really isn't just "I"...for "I" comes with a full heart, a grateful heart for having made those memories that still remain deeply within me. No, I am not alone. I have it all packed away deep within, and that fills my life to the very top!