The Right Timing...

It's a gray, rainy morning and the clock reads 10:05. I'm still in my nightshirt. I'm in no hurry to proceed with the day. Sitting with my steaming, vanilla flavored cup of coffee and my thoughts, I find no urgency to move. I have lots to ponder this glorious, dreary, misty day. Has it finally, for real, honestly happened this time? The message light was blinking when I came home last night and the message caused my heart to skip a beat, my legs to weaken and my soul to cry out with thanks to God. My home has sold,...it will soon belong to someone else. I owe it to myself to sit and soak this information in, to give thanks to my Heavenly Father who knows precisely the right timing for everything and who has taught me once again to rest in His way and not my own. Oh yes, I wrestled with impatience, fear of the unknown, inadequacy in handling a home sale alone,..just starting a new phase in my life caused anxieties, but He provided everything I needed to go through this smoothly and quickly. The young couple loved my house but had several doubts which brought about doubled inspections, multiple visits and requests for additional things to be left behind. This I gladly agreed too, for you see, it is time for me to move on, to establish a new life..or as we widow's call it, 'a new normal.' Fourteen years ago, my husband and I stepped into this house and began to make it a home. As empty nester's, it was a good fit with it's unique layout, huge backyard, areas for parking boats, campers etc., but we didn't stop there! Many, many upgrades were made, which made life easier with the arrival of several new grandchildren throughout the years, and the need to have space for them to be kids! That's what we were all about in those days...the grands! My first grandchild was Hannah...she recently turned 18 and while I was searching for photo's of her and grandpa to post on FB, I, of course, ended up sitting for hours going through hundreds and hundreds of pictures. This took me on a journey through the past 14 years and beyond...a journey that brought laughter, joy and tears. I settled in surrounded by memories, recalling each with unexpected emotions,..allowing myself to drift back in time to special moments, birthdays, backyard fun, holidays, just being together times....enjoying life. These things I leave behind, but the memories go with me. This home has served me well, and with it the bittersweet thought that my husband passed away during these years and will not be embarking on this new journey with me. I know he is proud of me for setting my course in a new direction, for I feel his approval and I know he is smiling that beautiful smile in heaven while awaiting that great reunion! I love you Dennis, and my heart is full of gratefulness for a life filled with love and so many good things while journeying our life together. Your absence has caused a mighty emptiness within me. So begins the packing. Not just 'things', but memories. I will sort, examine what needs to go, what needs to be thrown or given away and all the while feeling a tad bit of guilt for having to make those decisions. But 'things' aren't what make me, memories are, and I will always hold them close, remember with a smile and forever carry the love in my heart. Yes, this indeed was our home,...a home made for my husband and I, for my kids to come and feel welcomed and a place for my grands to remember their very young years, hopefully filled with happiness and good times. You, my home, have served me well, but I must move on....it's just 'the right timing.'