And now nothing...

I was just thinking....oh here I go again...'thinking!' No really, I WAS thinking this morning! I was thinking how distant we have become in our communication skills, well I guess I mean, the depth of our communication skills. Having made my usual computer run this morning, only to find no personal emails, 6 email advertisements and the Daily Dilly, I clicked over to Facebook and generally found only a few spotty comments from my "Friends" there. Gee's, I'm starving for interaction, communication, heartfelt sharing! That's when the 'thinking' began!

I'm going to give away my age here, but that's ok, age is a abstract concept anyhow!
Back in the mid 60's, as a young bride with very little excess spending money, and very little time between diaper changes, nap schedules and energy, I found my daily over the fence conversations with a neighbor or neighbors, to be such a fulfilling part of my day. Human contact! Yes, that's it...human contact! We shared stories, saw facial expressions, enjoyed seeing laughter or empathizing with problems by exchanging heartfelt hugs and words of encouragement. Somehow those things just don't come across via computer messages. Those were good memories; those were in days when things were much slower and more defined than they are today, those were moments that weren't penciled in between the hurry up schedules of today, those were days before I went to work!

Thus began the days of phone calls. They were better than nothing. We could at least catch up on the major events of our lives, share a concern, gripe about our husbands or tell a tale on the kids, and we still feel connected, with the promise of getting together 'real soon!' Phone calls were good. There was that much needed voice connection, you know, the 'it's so good to hear your voice' thing. It still felt warm and personal.

I don't remember exactly when we first bought our computer, or when I became brave enough to enter the world of emailing, but I do remember how excited I was at the instant gratification of typing off a quick message to a friend or family member and feeling that sense of accomplishment that I was somehow fulfilling the obligation of keeping in touch with very little time required! Ah yes, the world was starting to spin and time was becoming precious to me between working, family, keeping a home, church obligations, and trying to mix in some extra outside activities. This emailing thing seemed like just the ticket to expedite keeping in touch! And it was, but now I can look back and see it was the beginning of the end to that personal touch. I'm not saying it's a bad thing....I'm just saying.....

Well low and behold, about a year ago I was introduced to the phenomenon of Facebook! I was sold, lock stock and barrel! How cool was this! I not only could reintroduce myself to long lost friends and relatives, but I could post a short report about my daily doings on my Wall each day! Who wouldn't want to know the very interesting, yet perhaps mundane things I do each day? Good grief! This was heaven! I could keep up with them, they could keep up with me, we could post pictures, exchange chats and comments....who could ask for more? I no longer had to stop and take the time to write a time consuming email! Now here begins the part where I 'start thinking!' Because this morning when I went from my email (none) to my Facebook account and discovered there were no comments, no Wall postings, no one on the Chat feature....well, that's when I thought, "Good heaven's, now it's become too hard to even post a short comment on Facebook, ..where do we go from here?"

Life goes on, we do the best we can, and although I personally enjoy the intimacy of face to face communication so I can look into eyes that smile or a face covered with sadness allowing me to reach out with a warm hug or a small understanding nod of my head, I must admit, that isn't always possible. So I will continue to write that email, post that nondescript Wall post and pick up that phone on occasion...it isn't perfection, but it's a heck of a lot better than nothing!

IF LIFE...

IF LIFE…


If life was perfect I would still have my husband, but I don’t.
If life was perfect I wouldn’t worry about my future, but I do.
If life was perfect I wouldn’t have to ask for help but I must.
If life was perfect all my children and grandchildren would live close by, but they don’t.
If life was perfect I wouldn’t have to think about finances ever again, but I have too.
If life was perfect nothing would break down, or wear out, but they do.
If life was perfect friends would not move away or fade away but they do.
If life was perfect sickness would not affect my world, but it will.
If life was perfect I would remain strong enough to maintain my home, but I won’t.
If life was perfect I would find love again but it’s doubtful.
If life was perfect I wouldn’t grow old but I will.
If life was perfect I wouldn’t die alone, but perhaps I will.
If life was perfect all things would be perfect but heaven must wait.

If I keep my eyes on the Lord and believe His promises to me in complete trust and obedience than all of these anxieties and frustrations are for naught, so I will.
If I continue to say “I cannot” it is saying You are not sustaining and protecting me, so I won’t.
If I abnormally examine my inner self or look at the future with dread then I am not ‘kept by the power of God’, so I will not.
If I give up because I have been through trials and disappointments and discount God’s mercy, I am not trusting Him, so I shall not.
If I don’t ‘cast my burden upon the Lord’ I am not committing it to Him so I will.
If I hang on to my own weakness and not let go and let God I am diminishing His dominion over me, so I won’t.
If I do not see God at work in all my circumstances than I am not believing in His sovereignty, so I will.
If I believe that faithfulness to Jesus is stepping out of my own understanding even when I can’t see the outcome, than I am deliberately committing my life to Him, and I have.

“In all these things we are more than conquerors, through Him who loved us” Romans 8:37

NOT JUST A FRIEND

Her email came this morning. I didn't like what I read. Her positive attitude, and nonchalant approach to a situation that could very well threaten her life caused me to slam the lid of my computer down and walk away, frustrated with the unfairness of it all. Cancer...I hate that word..it even sounds ugly...cancer. The surgery she just went through gave me hope that all was taken care of, that she was free and clear and returning to her life that not only was a blessing to her but to me, in fact I'm sure to all whose lives she touches. She's that kind of person you know, one who makes me happy just to be counted as her friend. "Don't feel bad for me, don't be sad" she says. Her faith and trust in the Lord's provision brings a flush of anguish to my face as I struggle with this feeling of disproportionate news.
I do have to smile a bit though, as she makes light of hair loss, wigs, loosing weight, foam molds, tatoo's...leave it to her to find the laughter in a very sober situation! Ok then, if she can do it, I can do it gosh darn it!

I first met Linda at church. Actually I noticed her before we even met. She was the kind of woman I admired from a distance, beings I was fairly new at being a born-again Christian. Her involvement in church activities, the way others gravitated to her warmth, her evident love of her husband and children, her love of the Lord. Yes, Linda was who I wanted to be like. One Sunday I was told that Linda's mom had passed away and I felt the strongest urge to go to her, to hug her, to give her some form of encouragement even though I myself had never lost someone and didn't have a clue what to say so I only said, "I'm so sorry for you loss." And now I know that is one of the most important things anyone can say to a grieving person, since I have experienced that deep heaviness in the loss of my husband. Thus began a forever friendship.

God is so loving, so merciful, so all knowing. At exactly the right time in this progression of life, He gave me Linda as a precious friend. Along with our beloved husbands, we shared countless valuable moments that still bring a feeling of abundant pleasure when remembered. To others the list of things we did may seem mundane and silly, but to me they represent love. They shared our life...the fun times, the marital problems, anxious moments at the hospital, children's issues, co-ed baseball, tennis, cards, vacations, but more than that we shared our hearts.

Having said all that I shall say this.."You my friend are an inspiration. I cherish our memories, our friendship and yes our future!" You WILL beat this my determined little soulmate! We will lift our eyes to our Lord, with joined hands and hearts and trust in His unfailing goodness. His love never fails...after all, He gave me you.