The Lord is Near..

I woke up this morning wondering if I had just dreamed yesterday.  Rising from my pillow I gasped at the aching in my head, no doubt the after effects of the dye from the the CT.  Ok, God....what's going on here?  Is it lesson time again?  Or is Satan shooting his darts at me just for grins?!!  Either way, I'm crying 'uncle!'  Not really I guess, for God's lessons are always bringing me to a better place, and as far as Satan goes, well, I'll never give in to his silly games! 

Not so very long ago I was marveling at how smoothly my life seemed to be going....big mistake!  Although I thank my Lord every day for my blessings, health, and all He has provided, perhaps I became a little superficial about it...I just don't know.  Knee problems have given me untold pain the past 3 months, now resulting in upcoming surgery, large basal cell removed with 35 stitches a few weeks back,  dissolving teeth under a very expensive bridge will need to be replaced with implants costing thousands, time for a follow up appointment for my glaucoma, cataracts and macular degeneration and to boot, I woke up yesterday morning with the worst pain in my lower left abdomen!  A day spent under IV pain meds, Cat Scan and waiting for the results.  Five hours into it, they came and when the  doctor pulled up her chair to 'go over' some things, I knew I was in trouble!  My eyes shot over to daughter Denise, as if she could take some of the fear away from me....her eyes were as full of fear as mine.

Large mass on the right side of uterus with enlarged uterus and untold 'little things' going on in there!  Little cysts on the kidneys, possible fibroids behind the uterus pushing it forward (no wonder I have a protruding belly!...good excuse anyhow!)  She was very emphatic about scheduling with an OB first thing next week, followed by an oncologist.  Ok, Lord....I'm listening!  I'm reaching out my hand and trusting You will take it and guide me through this process, whatever it turns out to be. 

Life isn't always easy is it?  We take it as it comes, sometimes for granted, sometimes questioning, other times praising Him for undeserved mercy and grace,....that's just the way life is.  We walk those hills and valleys, we suffer great losses and our sorrow seems endless, we may even feel as if we're loosing our way in times of distress, the test seemingly more than we can endure.  He knows,...He's waiting,...He never lets go, for great is His love and His faithfulness is forever with us.

Today I have no idea what the future will bring, but I know who holds the future.  I'm fearful right now because aren't we always afraid of the unknown?  The Psalms have given me comfort today....Blessed is he whose help is God,...whose hope is in the Lord.....The Lord is near to all who call upon Him...He hears their cries.   Ps. 146:2 rings true to me as I face an unknown path.."I will praise the Lord all my life, I will sing praise to my God as long as I live."