wintley phipps
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING...PLEASE GIVE A LISTEN!
CLAUDIA
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Renewing My Present..
Two weeks into the New Year! Fourteen precious days of 2010 are gone, never to be regained. A few minutes ago I jotted a reminder note on my calendar and was startled to see how many 'jots' were made on the previous two weeks! Sometimes I get this feeling of desperation...like my purpose here is too vague, like I should be doing something monumental with my life. I'm staring at that calendar right now, reliving the past couple of weeks. I can actually see a pattern, a purpose, a meaning. Hey! I DO have a life and it's a pretty darn good one too! Granted,
not every day is filled with purposeful, meaningful, life changing events, but each one holds a significant purpose. It's my life. When did I start living it again after the death of my husband? When did life begin to feel normal. When did I settle into the daily functions and decisions without lamenting the fact that Dennis wasn't here to do that for me? Wasn't it just yesterday I could not see beyond each hour and was certain that time would move as slowly as a heavy fog on a winter morn.
When did I stop saying 'why me Lord, don't you like me any more?' A verse from Isaiah43 comes to mind..."Forget the former things;do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!" Yes, the anguish, questioning and misgivings have been replaced with belief, confidence and certainty. God is good!
Now what do I do with the present? What decisions do I 'purpose' to make?
I wasn't going to make a New Year's resolution list, but I feel I need to make a 'renewal' declaration. A quote by Brooks Atkinson says: Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go! Therefore I purpose to:
Live neither in the past nor the future
Stop putting life on hold
Not depend on others for my happiness
Let go of unproductive thoughts
Give life a chance
Love with all my heart
Forgive and let go of bitterness
Embrace hope
Be thankful in all things
Make a difference in peoples lives
Trust God for all my needs according to His riches in glory
Well, you get the picture...to renew my present requires not clinging to the past. What might happen tomorrow? I don't know, but I have a God who knows, and that's all I need to know.
not every day is filled with purposeful, meaningful, life changing events, but each one holds a significant purpose. It's my life. When did I start living it again after the death of my husband? When did life begin to feel normal. When did I settle into the daily functions and decisions without lamenting the fact that Dennis wasn't here to do that for me? Wasn't it just yesterday I could not see beyond each hour and was certain that time would move as slowly as a heavy fog on a winter morn.
When did I stop saying 'why me Lord, don't you like me any more?' A verse from Isaiah43 comes to mind..."Forget the former things;do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!" Yes, the anguish, questioning and misgivings have been replaced with belief, confidence and certainty. God is good!
Now what do I do with the present? What decisions do I 'purpose' to make?
I wasn't going to make a New Year's resolution list, but I feel I need to make a 'renewal' declaration. A quote by Brooks Atkinson says: Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go! Therefore I purpose to:
Live neither in the past nor the future
Stop putting life on hold
Not depend on others for my happiness
Let go of unproductive thoughts
Give life a chance
Love with all my heart
Forgive and let go of bitterness
Embrace hope
Be thankful in all things
Make a difference in peoples lives
Trust God for all my needs according to His riches in glory
Well, you get the picture...to renew my present requires not clinging to the past. What might happen tomorrow? I don't know, but I have a God who knows, and that's all I need to know.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Stepping Up
It's -10 degree's outside and here I sit eating a big bowl of Peppermint ice cream...why? Because I can. If I still had children at home I would definitely discourage this with the oh so sensible logic of a mother, but I don't, so I will do as I please! I actually bought this ice cream in hopes the grands would devour it over Christmas...but nope..no takers and thus it is left up to me to make sure it doesn't go to waste! I'm up to the task!
There would have been one point in my life when I would have hated to be referred to as 'you're becoming your mother', but now I could give a damn! I AM a mother, I AM a grandmother and I DO have some traits from my mom...and I'm proud of that. I know for a fact that she also reached a point in life where ice cream in the middle of the coldest spell of winter would have enticed her. Why am I on this ice cream theme...this tangent of doing what I want? It's not just the ice cream..it's so many things. The New Year has driven me to a contemplative mood, to the realization that if I can't be and do what I want, right now, at this ridiculously upper-middle part of age, then when pray tell shall I? It's rather freeing, you know, to lay down the shackles of 'shoulds' or 'shouldn't' do's.
Can I actually turn away from the clucks and 'oh mom's' that I would or will hear from my kids, if I decide to do something out of the common structure of being just a mom? Or will I cower and feel diminished by their disapproval? I think not..I think I've become a me, not just a mom or grandmother, but me! I've always wanted their admiration, perhaps even longed to be given the opportunity to be a wise counsel to them when they desired it. I still stand ready if asked, but my main objective now is to listen..just listen. They need to experience their own mistakes, handle their own problems, reach their own solutions, but with the comforting thought that their mom is just a phone call away, with a knowing heart and a experienced shoulder that welcomes a wearied head.
This age thing can get you down. After all I'm 'it' now, I'm the oldest survivor. The grandparents to my children are gone, my husband is gone...hey I'm 'it!' I'm really not ready to be relegated to old age, to just be someone to put up with, to have my kids feel obligated too or to be looked at as if most of my life is over and I'm on the downhill slide. No, by golly, I still have life to live, love to be found, fun to be had, friends to be made, adventures to experience....so don't write me off just yet! Perhaps I shall have another bowl of ice cream!!
There would have been one point in my life when I would have hated to be referred to as 'you're becoming your mother', but now I could give a damn! I AM a mother, I AM a grandmother and I DO have some traits from my mom...and I'm proud of that. I know for a fact that she also reached a point in life where ice cream in the middle of the coldest spell of winter would have enticed her. Why am I on this ice cream theme...this tangent of doing what I want? It's not just the ice cream..it's so many things. The New Year has driven me to a contemplative mood, to the realization that if I can't be and do what I want, right now, at this ridiculously upper-middle part of age, then when pray tell shall I? It's rather freeing, you know, to lay down the shackles of 'shoulds' or 'shouldn't' do's.
Can I actually turn away from the clucks and 'oh mom's' that I would or will hear from my kids, if I decide to do something out of the common structure of being just a mom? Or will I cower and feel diminished by their disapproval? I think not..I think I've become a me, not just a mom or grandmother, but me! I've always wanted their admiration, perhaps even longed to be given the opportunity to be a wise counsel to them when they desired it. I still stand ready if asked, but my main objective now is to listen..just listen. They need to experience their own mistakes, handle their own problems, reach their own solutions, but with the comforting thought that their mom is just a phone call away, with a knowing heart and a experienced shoulder that welcomes a wearied head.
This age thing can get you down. After all I'm 'it' now, I'm the oldest survivor. The grandparents to my children are gone, my husband is gone...hey I'm 'it!' I'm really not ready to be relegated to old age, to just be someone to put up with, to have my kids feel obligated too or to be looked at as if most of my life is over and I'm on the downhill slide. No, by golly, I still have life to live, love to be found, fun to be had, friends to be made, adventures to experience....so don't write me off just yet! Perhaps I shall have another bowl of ice cream!!
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