Loosing importance?

I had a birthday last week. Not a 'big' one...but a disturbing one. As I confessed to someone, 'it feels as though I'm on the downhill slide now.' Digging my heels into the hillside won't stop the progression either! Oh, you say, consider the alternative! Well, believe me I have, and I am grateful to my heavenly Father who has chosen to give me an extended life with fairly good health, a loving family and dear friends. Life is just suddenly so 'real'...by that I mean, so fragile, so swift, with an unexplainable sense of urgency! What is this feeling of 'loosing importance?'

My children have wonderful lives full of all the things I once experienced. I look at them and see my past. I watch them going through the family issues, the ups and downs of raising kids, work schedules, sports schedules, responsibilities...yes...it is a season of responsibility and fatigue! Yet somehow it is the best part of life! Oh, I hope they are enjoying it because from my position, it is the most fleeting season and if they are wishing these years would hurry and get over, well, that would be regretable. Regret eats at the soul,...savoring each season of life fills it! It's tough for sure, but I wish I could infuse in them the importance of holding each moment tightly...having no regrets in the future, that they wished away the days and years.

My time raising kids was so different than today. Safe neighborhoods with caring people who watched over ours as if they were theirs, lots of outdoor time, very little TV, no computers or hand held games, sandlot baseball, less scheduled activities, boundaries that even the kids expected, (my folks would kill me 'if'..)! Yes, I could go on and on, but my main point is...."God bless the working mothers and fathers who not only have to regulate their time, but the time of their children!" Stress, tension, games that should be played just for the love of the game but have become a competition for who makes AAA or AA or A teams...and the parents who then have to render the perfect words to blanket the disappointment in their child. When did sports become so stressful for the kids, ...where did the joy of just playing go. Competition is good to a degree, but when it distorts a childs self-worth...well, it's just wrong! This is a mute point for a grandparent....I can only look, pray and trust that this will not influence negatively lives that should be delighting in life, friends and family! Again it is clear to me that I can stand by and watch, but have no input whatsoever....perhaps another reason for 'loosing that feeling of importance?' I had my time, they are having theirs....the circle of life I suppose.

There is an elderly lady who comes into my workplace several times a week, that has become a special person in my life. We chat about little things. I shared with her this 'loosing importance' feeling since donning this years birthday. Her words bathed me in warmth. "My dear, our importance just seems to wane, just remember that even though we are not included in much of our children and grandchildren's lives, we are still here to be an anchor for them...a place of safety, where they can come and rest when their lives become so harried they just need an hour or so of escape. Don't feel left out, enjoy what you can when you can, don't begrudge their activities without you....treasure the times you do have." She blesses my life. Her years are numbered as she's in her 80's, yet is living as fully as she can and loving life! Truly an example for me to emulate.

I'll pass through this feeling I'm sure....just a fleeting pity party. Birthdays are a time to reflect, give thanks to my God for blessing me with yet another year, and to give me a chance to look to the future. Yes, my heels may be dug in, trying to slow this process down, but He gives me my sense of identity and worth and therefore I am the most important person on earth! Loosing my identity? I think not! Bring on another year...with His precious daily presence, I can take it!